Being a Plus-Size

For those that know me, I am a Plus-Size gal.  The last time I could wear anything under a size 32 was over 25 years ago, and it's not looking like I will ever be wearing anything that size again anytime in the foreseeable future. So what's a girl to do in order to wear good looking, fairly fashionable clothing without looking like a frumpy dowager or a large-size 20-something that thinks she actually looks good and sexy in those tight jeans and t-shirt and never sees the muffin top in between them.  I'm no fashionista but I think I know what looks good.

Being a Plus-Size means I have to look long and hard to find clothing that is fashionable, in good taste, and affordable.  That last one is hard to do though.  I'm on a fixed income and lately have been finding it difficult to pay bills, much less buy clothes.  And on those rare occasions when I actually can get something new I have to consider many different factors before I actually shell out the money.  The main one being durability.  If I can't afford to replace clothing right away it needs to be able to stand up to the wear and tear of daily life.  So flimsy fabrics are out of the question.

So what about dresses?  They're okay, as long as they show some or your shape.  Anyone ever hear of  a muumuu?  That was a dress style made popular in Hawai'i after the missionaries arrived, especially the women missionaries.  God Forbid the native Hawaiian women be caught showing their breasts and inciting the missionary men to have carnal thoughts! Women may not have had the Vote back then, but they sure wielded a lot of power socially.  It was the wives of the ranchers that really tamed the Wild West, not the Remington Rifle.  But I digress.  Missionary women taught the Hawaiian women to sew a style of dress they designed that would cover all the of the body's "naughty bits" and the Hawaiians dubbed it the Muumuu.  Today there are dress styles know as a Float, a Trapeze, and something called "free-and-easy styling" that are all synonymous with the Muumuu: a long (in some cases), flowing dress with no definite shape that can be slipped on over the head.  The only time such dresses should be worn is when one is at home relaxing.

Pants: to my mind they should be avoided at all costs. At least on me. There are some fashionistas that feel that large women can wear pants or trousers and tapered pants at that.  I'm sorry, pants are not something many large women can wear and look good in yet still be comfortable.  And it doesn't help that most of the pants on the market for large women are polyester or poly/cotton knits which show off every bump and bulge no matter how loose fitting.  Large women, as a rule, want to avoid showing off every bump and bulge.  And the fitted waistbands are a joke for a women with a lot of belly fat.  There is absolutely no way to sit comfortably without straining the button on the waistband so much that it will eventually pop off and hit someone or something like in a group of commercials for Subway(r) several years ago where the fly buttons popped off and were sent flying across rooms with comical results.

And don't get me started about leggings. Leggings should be outlawed. Any woman who has legs like mine should not wear leggings. The only women that truly look good in leggings are the ones who's legs are more muscle than fat.  If one has "thunder thighs" like mine then leggings are not a good fashion choice.

When one is plus-size and amply endowed on top, low cut tops that let the breasts spill out are also not a good idea.  A V-neck shirt or top the shows a minimum of cleavage is fine, but you probably want to avoid the hooker look.

Speaking of cleavage that speaks to the type of bra used.  I use to have the hardest time finding a bra that fit because manufacturers usually didn't make them large enough.  Then I stopped wearing them for 5 or 6 years.  When I started wearing one again I found a company that made a bra that was comfortable and in my size.  So when you're shopping for a bra, be sure to measure yourself.  Most places say that you should measure around the top of the bust just under the arms, but that's wrong.  You need to measure around the chest just under the breasts. That measurement is the size of the bra-band.  For your cup size, just try on a bunch of different bras that fit your chest measurement with different cup sizes.  If your breasts spill out of the cup, then it's too small.  If you breasts fill the cups but the cup has gaps and it looks like you could have room for more, then it's too big.  Your breasts should fill the cup without spilling out or leaving gaps.  It may take a while to find the right bra, but when you do you'll be quite happy.

As for other foundation garments (i.e. girdles), that's purely personal choice.  I don't wear them because I don't like feeling like toothpaste being squeezed out of a tube because most foundation garments don't come in my size and are way too tight.  And then there are the bathroom concerns as one gets older and the call of nature can become extremely urgent in a matter of seconds. 

To me, Plus-size clothes should be fairly loose fitting to ensure comfort, fashionable enough to not feel like I'm out of style, and durable enough that I don't have to be constantly replace things.  Stain repellent would be nice, too, because I have a nasty habit of spilling things on myself.

Being a Non-Traditional Student at a Traditional College

There are people in this world who think that when one reaches a certain age the one should just stop learning and either work or live off the government dole.  The Padowan's father believes this is so and he's only in his 40's.  He thinks that he'd be wasting his time if he decided to go back to college.  I'm in my 50's and I don't want work at some dead-end job or just sit around and do nothing for the rest of my life because if I were to do either one of those I would just burn out or stagnate or both, and I don't intend to do either.

I have been taking classes at our local community college in American Sign Language or ASL.  Currently I am in the ASL Studies Certificate program though I will be applying for the Sign Language Interpreter Training program in February.  If I do get in the program I will be starting the program in the fall and attending for another 2 years.  If I don't I will be graduating this Spring.  In any case, I am back at school learning, something we all continue to do throughout our lives. 

As an older student I am finding that while some things are a challenge there are a great many rewards, including the ability to get younger students sit up and take notice when you tell them, indirectly of course, that their idea of the world is skewed by technology.  The majority of students in traditional colleges today all grew up with things that weren't invented when I was their age. (Boy does that sound old and patronizing.)  I was 18 when purely by chance I first saw a car with a phone in it.  Before that car phones were something that was only seen in the movies.  We had computers, but that thing that most of today's students carry in their backpacks use to take up multiple rooms that were the size of 2 average size living rooms.  And cell phones! The very first cell phone call was made just 2 months before I graduated from high school in 1973.

Last semester I was taking an English Writing class and we were reading the book The Glass Castle a memoir written by Jeannette Walls.  We discussed the book in every class and often times the younger students were making observations about the book and comparing it with what they knew, putting their own knowledge and life experiences on what was happening in the book.  But then I would speak and remind them that the time period Jeannette was writing about was vastly different than what it is today.  In the book Walls writes about her experiences growing up poor in the Southwest and in West Virginia.  The beginning of the book starts with a most vivid memory for Walls; she had managed to catch her dress on fire while cooking at age 3.  When she was in the hospital the doctors and nurses all seemed to tap-dance about whether or not to call child welfare.  To the other students it seemed obvious that they should have called because Walls had either been neglected or abused or both.  Then I reminded them that many schools at that time still had corporal punishment and that parents were expected to spank their misbehaving children.  To spank a child in public was not a crime unlike now when a parent could be jailed for just threatening a child.


The point is that having an older student in the class is good for everyone because everyone benefits.  Padowan's father doesn't get it.  I pity him because to him his life is over except for the dying part.  I don't intend to ever think that way.  I expect to live a good, long, learning filled life and I expect one day to go back for even more schooling.  Maybe another Bachelor's degree, then a Master's, and then maybe a Doctorate.  Why not when I expect to live to at least 100.  Maybe longer. Who knows.

Keith is GONE!!!!!

I hadn't been watching my usual MSNBC shows for a while because I don't always control the TV remote so the first I heard about Keith Olbermann leaving the network was from Deb's daughter whom we call Padowan. She told us last Monday, but then we got wrapped up in school and snowstorms and other things in our lives that we forgot to watch.  Sorry Keith. Then I was checking my e-mail and found a link to this video.


As many other reporters and commentators have said, Keith pretty much put MSNBC on the map helping the network became a bastion of liberalism in a vast sea of conservatism. But with Keith no longer with MSNBC that begs the question, who will be the next voice to hoist the ultra conservative jackanapes' by their own petard?  I have no answer to that question.  Except that torch is now passed on to Rachel Maddow, Lawrence O'Donnell, and Ed Schultz.  Let us hope they can carry on and make us, MSNBC, and especially Keith proud.

All I can say is that I am deeply saddened that this is happened.  When I was able to watch I enjoyed Countdown and I always learned something.  Keith was often able to put into words the emotion I felt over some injustice in the the world or some inane situation that was being blown out of proportion.  He pointed out the absurdities in our world and in our politics.  He helped me to see all manner of injustice and gave me ideas as to how change it if possible.  I hope I am a better person because of him.

Keith, if you ever read this, know that you are greatly missed by one small household in Kansas.  Please don't be gone longer than you have to.

Becoming Auntie Mame!

I'm your Auntie Mame!
 
Usually when people hear or see that statement they think of Mame the musical play and which was made into a movie staring Lucille Ball.  But that's not the Auntie Mame of which I speak.  No, no, my Auntie Mame always will be Rosalind Russell in the film Auntie Mame which also star Peggy Cass and a young Roger Smith.

For those who have never seen it, the movie focuses on Mame Dennis, a free spirit who becomes the guardian of her nephew, Patrick Dennis, son of her only brother.  The movie opens on an image of a Will with someone reading it aloud. It is Mame's brother, a staunch conservative, who is providing for his son and who expects to live quite a long time because he exercises everyday at his athletic club.  Then we see a newspaper headline a stating that Mr Dennis, prominent businessman, dropped dead at that same athletic club the day after signing his will.

Patrick and Norah Muldoon, his father's housekeeper, arrive at Mame's apartment in New York City as she is in the midst of a great big party with almost 100 people in attendance. It's October 1st in the year 1929. (History buffs may remember that October 29th of that year was the day of the Stock Market crash starting the Great Depression. But more on that later.)  After Mame flies (almost literally) down the stairs and sees Patrick and Norah she mistakes Norah for a maid come to help and Patrick for Norah's son, but Norah corrects her.  As Mame sets the facts right in her mind she turns to young Patrick and loudly declares, "I'm your Auntie Mame!"  For Mame it's love at first sight and she works to do whatever she can to help broaden Patrick's horizons beyond the narrow confines of the conservative life Patrick's father wanted him to follow.

Mame is a true character who fights to survive rather than letting life run roughshod over her. When the Great Depression hits Mame is suddenly penniless.  She tries a variety of jobs to make ends meet and fails miserably with every one.  At her last job is as a sales lady at Macy's during the Christmas rush she meets her future husband, a millionaire oil baron from Georgia named Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside, and it's love at first sight.  Beau opens even more doors for Mame.

After Beau dies suddenly Mame takes on another project.  Patrick arranges for her to have a secretary and a co-writer to help her write her memoirs.   It's at this time when when Patrick finally announces to her that he has found "The Girl" to marry and introduces her to Mame.  The girl, Gloria, is a vain, empty-headed snob who affects posh airs but is no better than the very people she snubs. After meeting Gloria, Mame decides to meet her parents who live in a restricted community in Connecticut.

Gloria's parents are among the nouveaux riches, the new money, those who through luck and happenstance find themselves very rich and who put on affectations of being rich which only serve to annoy the old rich.  Gloria's parents don't understand that those who have had money for several generations don't throw their money in people's faces.  Her parents don't realize that to act rich is to act no different than a person who has less money.  Acting rich is to act as if money doesn't matter.  The old rich know they have money, they just don't trumpet it around.  It's just a means to an end.  The newly rich think they have to flaunt their money to prove others they're rich.  When Mame meets Gloria's parents she realizes that Patrick's trustee has orchestrated the marriage and works to undermine and unravel the trustee's plans.

When Mame's secretary suddenly finds herself pregnant and alone in an era where the unwed mother is scorned and stigmatized, Mame takes her on as another project, encouraging her to take care of herself and her baby.

In the end everything works out and Patrick goes on to marry his true love instead of Gloria the empty-headed blond "with braces on her brains" and Mame goes on to mold a new generation of free thinkers when she takes Patrick's 10-year-old son with her to India for the summer.

I have often said that I wanted to be Auntie Mame; to be that free spirit that helped open doors for young people and help them see that there was more to life than just those things their parents told them.  My favourite line from Auntie Mame is this, "Live!  Live!  Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"  I may be an aunt, but I'm no Auntie Mame.

Keith Olbermann Suspended

Because I do not always get to control what we watch on TV, I missed the following report on The Rachel Maddow Show last night  (5 Nov 2010).





For those that don't watch MSNBC, Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow are two of the most refreshing and insightful voices on news television today.  They look at what is happening around them in politics and the rest of the world and give us the the clearest most concise assessment they can.  Sometimes they mess up so they offer corrections and apologies.  But always their honesty and integrity are out there for the world so see.  But today Keith never got the chance.

During the recent election cycle Keith is alleged to have given donations to 3 different campaigns.  If the accusation is true, the problem is NOT that Keith gave these donations.  No, the problem is that he did so without getting the okay from Management.  This action resulted in Keith being suspended from his position at MSNBC.

Apparently NBC has a policy prohibiting any staff member, whether they be an on-air personality or someone behind-the-scenes, from contributing to any political campaign or organization.  This the policy apparently says that employees must let management know when (and presumably how much) they plan to donate to candidates, who those candidates are, and then management must approve the donations being made. Not to censor but merely to make sure who donating to whom, should they be called out because the donation.

This is a good policy that has its roots in the Newspaper industry.  In order for the press to be taken seriously as non-partisans, various newspaper publishers imposed that rule, or something similar.  If the paper endorsed any one candidate it was made through the editorial page, the only page of a newspaper were you should find Opinions.  Reporters need to be impartial, whereas editors do not. 

Many people, including myself, were shocked to hear of Keith's suspension and now there are rumors flying across the internet about what really happened.  Personally I will wait until Keith returns to find out the real story.  In the meantime I will have to suffer through whomever MSNBC picks to fill in for him since I do not know who that person will be nor how long Keith's suspension will last.  And my advice to Keith Olbermann?  Next time let the bosses know because next time they might not be so nice.

Katie Makkai - Pretty

This video is very intense and I strongly urge every woman watch it with their daughters, their granddaughters and every other woman in their life.  I also think this video needs to be seen by the men in our lives. 

This poet, Katie Makkai, delivered this amazing poetry piece at the 2002 National Poetry Slam as a member of the Denver, CO team.  In this poem, she takes the word "pretty" to task in a way that makes one think about how we perceive the word.  This then reveals how our use of  the word places pressure to conform to an unrealistic ideal which we place not only on our daughters, but also on ourselves. 

So what is the word "pretty"? What does is denote? According to Dictionary.com, pretty is a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, and has 14 different definitions.  The definition we most associate with the word is the first one: “pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness.”

Pretty, for me, has always been part of a back-handed compliment which I call "If Only" statements.  I’ve heard these statements throughout my life.  Many's the time someone would say to me, "You have such a pretty face, if only ____________," you'd cut your hair or get contacts or change your attitude or whatever, just fill in the blank.  Though the most used phrase was "... if only you'd lose weight."

Watching and listening to this video brought tears to my eyes.  It reminded me of many painful aspects of my life, places I don't want to remember.  But the memory is there and a part of who I am.  And though I'm older and beyond all the "Pretty" parts of life, there's a part of me that still want to have that label, at least until the people that matter most in my life call me "Beautiful", and then who cares about being merely pretty.

I'm glad I'm not in Nevada! Or any other state with a Tea Party candidate!

My fiance was reading some of the headlines aloud this morning and he got to one story about Sharron Angle, Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate from Nevada who is running against Democrat Harry Reid.  Ms. Angle has made her mark in this years set of political loonies in all sorts of wonderful ways. She has done many unintelligent things, but the weirdest was holding a Press Conference then refusing to take questions from the reporters and then not just leaving but running away.  This morning's report stated that in a new video Ms. Angle is seen making the remark to a group of Hispanic high school students that some of them looked "a little more Asian" to her.  This happened as Ms. Angle was defending a recent campaign ad blasting rival Harry Reid's record on illegal immigration.  The ad showed images of dark skinned men.  Her defense was that she didn't know the people in the ads were hispanic. Really?!  Really?!  Ms. Angle, are you really that color blind?? Or are you just plain stupid??

Frankly, I don't think Ms. Angle very bright and I pity her poor spokesperson who daily has to try to clean up any hornet's nest Ms. Angle has stirred up just by opening her mouth.  This is not the first such remark Ms. Angle has made, and I doubt it will be the last.

Ms. Angle is a Tea Party candidate and is one of 10 candidates that party is standing for office, the others being Christine O'Donnell of Delaware, Joe Miller of Alaska, Jesse Kelly of Arizona, Ken Buck of Colorado, Dan Maes of Colorado, Marco Rubio of Florida, Rick Scott of Florida, Raul Labrador of Idaho, Rand Paul of Kentucky, and Mike Lee of Utah.  Much has been made of these candidates, but to my mind the one thing that unites these candidates is their lack of common sense.  The Tea Party is working hard to polarize voters to keep them from making an informed decision.   

Politics has always been a forum for debate with the winner of the debate being the one giving the most well informed arguments.  Debate is something missing from the Tea Party.  The members of the Tea Party are appealing only to emotions which can lead to angry shouting matches that can become full fledged fights if those involved are not able to check themselves.  Anyone who has ever fought with a sibling, a spouse, a significant other or another family member knows that emotional arguments never have a winner.  They just raise the blood pressure and can hurt the relationship.  Healthy debate means that afterward you can still shake hands and be friends.

My little blog will not change anything in today's political climate, so I will not presume to tell these candidates how to run their campaigns.  All I can do is hope that cool and wiser heads prevail.  All we can do is cast our 1 vote and hope for the best.  I wish the voters in Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Kentucky, Utah, Nevada, Delaware, Alaska, and Arizona good luck because, if their Tea Party candidates win, those states are going to need it.  And so are we.