Katie Makkai - Pretty

This video is very intense and I strongly urge every woman watch it with their daughters, their granddaughters and every other woman in their life.  I also think this video needs to be seen by the men in our lives. 

This poet, Katie Makkai, delivered this amazing poetry piece at the 2002 National Poetry Slam as a member of the Denver, CO team.  In this poem, she takes the word "pretty" to task in a way that makes one think about how we perceive the word.  This then reveals how our use of  the word places pressure to conform to an unrealistic ideal which we place not only on our daughters, but also on ourselves. 

So what is the word "pretty"? What does is denote? According to Dictionary.com, pretty is a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, and has 14 different definitions.  The definition we most associate with the word is the first one: “pleasing or attractive to the eye, as by delicacy or gracefulness.”

Pretty, for me, has always been part of a back-handed compliment which I call "If Only" statements.  I’ve heard these statements throughout my life.  Many's the time someone would say to me, "You have such a pretty face, if only ____________," you'd cut your hair or get contacts or change your attitude or whatever, just fill in the blank.  Though the most used phrase was "... if only you'd lose weight."

Watching and listening to this video brought tears to my eyes.  It reminded me of many painful aspects of my life, places I don't want to remember.  But the memory is there and a part of who I am.  And though I'm older and beyond all the "Pretty" parts of life, there's a part of me that still want to have that label, at least until the people that matter most in my life call me "Beautiful", and then who cares about being merely pretty.