Fanfiction

This is going to sound weird coming from me because even though I was a fan of the show "Sherlock" I have not been active in the fandom. Deb is involved enough for all of us. At one point she told us of an event attended by both Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch. At one point a reporter by the name of Caitlin Moran gave them a printout of a Sherlock fanfiction story and had them read it.... out loud.

I'm presuming most of you know or have heard of FanFiction. If you haven't, these are stories written by fans of a particular TV series or movie. Sometimes these are simple stories of friendship. But often times they are out and out explicit erotica. As a rule, these stories are written by women, most of whom have very active imaginations and have very excellent writing skills.

The aftermath of Caitlin Moran giving Martin and Benedict that story has been pretty much unanimous, and it's not very nice. Anger is putting it mildly. Fanfiction authors are, for the most part, very private because oftentimes it is not in their best interest for their hobby to be known. Many have never told their families about their hobby.

One writer, known simply as Dangermouse, pulled all her work off the Internet when someone found out her real name and threatened to not only tell her family, but also her employer. She wrote fanfiction for the show Stargate CG1. Very homoerotic fanfiction. Having her family and her employer learn of her hobby of writing what some would characterize as "smut" could have had detrimental effects on her life. So, rather than take the risk that the person was merely making idle threats, she pulled everything off the fanfiction sites on which she had posted and remove her alias from the Internet. Which is sad because she was such a gifted writer.

As with any work of fiction, one needs get the author's permission before printing out or publicly publishing a story. While many of the characters may be from a copyrighted series, the fanfiction itself is the intellectual property of the fanfiction author and permissions must be granted before any sort of publication. Even if the writer is from another country, there are international laws concerning the theft of intellectual property. It doesn't matter where you find it, if you have not asked permission, or properly cited the work, you Can Not just take it. Plus, it's simply common courtesy. 

So the reporter, Caitlyn Moran, goes to a fanfiction website, finds a Very explicit Sherlock story, prints it out, and hands it to the stars of the series to read in a public venue. Did Caitlin Moran get permission from the author to print out this story?? No! Did she get permission to give the story to the stars of Sherlock?? No!! And did she get permission to let the stars publicly read the story out loud in a public venue??? NO!!! What she Did do was publicly embarrass herself by showing the world that she's the worst sort of reporter by pulling such a stunt, and she embarrassed the stars by showing them what their "pathetic" fans write about their characters. And she managed to inflame the ire of every fan of Sherlock fan, not just the ones writing fanfiction. Hence the reason for this post.

Probably the worst part of the fallout from Caitlin Moran's publicity stunt was the reaction of Sherlock himself, Benedict Cumberbatch. He has been a victim of a stalker before, and had been ubducted at gunpoint about 10 years before while in South Africa. So, after reading this story he was visably upset and was observed being comforted by Martin Freeman and his partner, Amanda Abbington.

How many people out there realize that this modernized version of the Sherlock Holmes stories was in itself fanfiction? Think about it. Anytime Anyone writes stories based on another story they are writing Fanfiction!

This version of the Sherlock Holmes stories was a vanity project for Showrunner Steven Moffat and co-writer Mark Gatiss. Martin and Benedict were never under contract to do the show, they were doing it because it appealed to them. The producers could have canceled the show after the end of the Second Season when Martin signed the contract so he could do "The Hobbit", and Benedict signed to do about 10 films including "Star Trek: Into Darkness", "The Fifth Estate", "12 Years a Slave", "August: Osage County", and a many others. (Honestly, when did the man sleep!) The point is that the producers could have decided to pull the plug on the whole thing at any point. (Though in hindsight, they probably should have stopped after the 3rd season since the 4th season was so bad. But thats a whole other blog post.) They didn't. And when a show has a devoted following, people, usually fans, will write stories about it.

The upshot is this. The writers of fanfiction are Not pathetic. They are gifted writers just looking for an outlet. Let them write! Who knows, maybe they'll be become published authors like what's her name who wrote the Fifty Shades books. She started out writing "Twilight" fanfiction.  So to the fanfiction writers out there I say, Write On!

I Want My Knee Surgery!!!

If you've been watching the national weather for the Northeastern US, or if you live in Upstate New York, you know it's snowing. In fact it's been snowing almost continually since Thursday (12/12/2013) and it looks like it's going to continue until maybe Wednesday. A full week. Cool!! It looks like we will be having a White Christmas this year.

If my knees were less worrying I'd be out in it like a kid. I love snow. I want to go out and make snow angels and have snowball fights and build a snow fort and just have fun. But I can't because if I fell on my knees I'd never get up, at least not without a hoist. So I sit inside and watch the snow fall and am envious of everyone who can go outside. I'm angry that my body won't allow me to be the person I want to be. I'm also angry that various doctors have decided that I am the average patient and that I cannot get surgery that I need in order to be able to move around like a person without arthritis!

Supposedly I am too much of a risk. Mostly because of my weight. According to a WebMD article, "Obese people have a much higher risk of potentially deadly complications following surgery, a new study shows." And an article in the Orlando Sentinel explains the reasoning.

"Morbidly obese patients also have a harder time breathing when sedated. Because their airways tend to close when they're under sedation, they need breathing tubes inserted more often. Getting a tube into their airways is more challenging. Their necks are bigger, so it's harder for anesthesiologist to see their vocal cords. The intubation often requires video assistance. By comparison, intubation on a very obese patient can take 30 to 45 minutes, whereas for a normal-weight person, it takes only a few minutes."

It also tells of a possible solution.

"Sometimes the anesthesiologist can't intubate the patient at all, and we have to call off the surgery. To address the airway problem, bioengineering students at Rice University in Houston recently invented a suction device that hoists the abdomens of obese patients up and out of the way while surgeons operate. The respiratory assist device uses suction cups attached to horizontal bars to lift the bellies of the obese to help them breathe."

That would make for some unusual bruising, but what the hell.

And then there's the study done by the Hospital for Special Surgery that seems to say differently. Though they are mostly talking about pain after knee replacement.

Besides, I'm not going for belly surgery, I want my damn left knee replaced. And maybe my right knee if it gets any worse. I need to be able to walk normally again. Maybe not like when I was a kid, or even a teenager, but like I did 20 years ago. Most of the studies out there are showing that folks who have a maximum Body Mass Index (BMI) of 40 are best cases.

The problem with a lot of surgeons is that they've made their decision before they even walk into the exam room to talk to you. If you're obese and have a BMI of over 40 then they want nothing to do with you. The last time I talked with an orthopedic surgeon he all but kicked me out of his office and told me that I was a malpractice lawsuit waiting to happen. Never mind that I told him I would be able to lose weight after the surgery because then I'd be able to move without pain and would be able to get back into my belly dancing. Ignorant Sod!!

I didn't use to be afraid of walking. But now I am because it's gotten extremely hazardous for me, especially this time of year with all the snow and the ice. And I want to stop being afraid of going up or down stairs. I live in fear of tripping and landing on my left knee because if I did I would be totally unable to walk anywhere. We'd have to move into a completely handicap accessible apartment because there's no way I could have a wheelchair here. Hell, there's hardly room enough for our little shopping cart to get through the front door. I simply want an orthopedic surgeon to listen to me, not make a snap judgement before even coming in the room. I tell everyone I meet in social organizations that if I should ever fall and land on my left knee to just call 911. That will be the only way I will get off the ground.

One time in Kansas, when I was taking classes, I was on my way to the bus stop to catch the bus to school and I slipped in the mud under the hole in the fence I went through to get to the bus. My ex-husband was the only family member home and the maintenance man was replacing our roof. My ex has health problems of his own and can't life very much. At the time I was between 400 and 425 lbs so the ex wasn't lifting me, no way, no how. (The ex is 5'2" and about 110 lbs.... maybe.) So the maintenance man starts to lift me. I warned him I was over 400 lbs and he just kept telling me to put my arm over his shoulder. I did and he helped me get up off the ground. Don't remember if I went to school that day, though I found out later from one of the landlords that the maintenance man had thrown his back out because of me. He's tall and skinny, but muscular, and probably weighs about 120... maybe.

But I digress.

I will concede that getting any surgery can and will put stress on my body. After all, it is an invasion of the body. And having an over abundance of fat will cause even more stress. So guess I will start a fat loss regimen to at least get me to the 40 BMI max. As of my last visit my BMI was 68.54 so it looks like I have a ways to go. There is an exercise room in the office building of our apartment complex with all sorts of machines,including a weight machine, and I need to get my fat ass over there. Tough with all the snow we've gotten so far this week I may delay that till I get my new boots.

An Interesting Year, Part 2

Okay, my last post was back in April... May... something like that. I'm starting to feel like one girlfriend who calls one year of her life "The year that was 2." But for wholly other reasons.

DF & I finally - with a lot of help from his brothers, sister-in-law, and some very good friends - got packed, got a 16 foot rental truck loaded and made our way to New York State. Oh My Gods!! I though we'd never make it. I had planned for us to leave on Jun 29th. But after some discussion with all our helpers it was decided that we would leave on the 30th because there was just not enough time with all the stuff we had not yet packed to get it all done and allow me to get enough rest to be able to drive for the better part of 8 hours. I think I've mentioned before that DF doesn't drive. Well trust me, there were times during the drive when I wish he did.

DF lost his job last October (2012) and had been looking for a job ever since. About the time D & M moved to NY in April DF changed his job search to look for jobs in the Rochester, NY area. So then he starts getting calls for jobs in the KC area. The irony abounds! And then he started getting calls for New York... for areas around New York City, Albany, Buffalo, Binghamton, almost everywhere but Rochester. I had to make a list of cities and towns close to Rochester that were likely to have companies looking for Software Engineers/Computer Programers so he wouldn't have to always ask me if it was close by. "Well couldn't you relocate?" the recruiters would ask. "But I am relocating to be near my family," DF would reply. "Oh."

Then it finally happened that as we got closer and closer to our moving date DF started getting calls for companies in the Rochester area. Huzzah!! By the time we left he had 3 interviews lined up, 1 for the day after we arrived!!

We had to leave one of our kitties behind, but we found him a good home with a young couple in KC. They were willing to take him on because he was a very skittish cat. We brought our dog and other 2 cats with the intent of giving one cat to a friend of mine in NY. Well, he got to live with my friend and her husband, but then he got out and walked away. I'm sad but philosophical about it. The other cat and dog were going to go with us to whatever apartment we found. But then that cat, an indoor cat who was deathly afraid of ever going outside, suddenly decided he Liked the outside and decided to stay where he was. I hope he found good people.

Many thanks to M's oldest brother for helping get us to some apartment complexes in our search for an apartment. We found one we liked, put in applications with the appropriate application fee for M, DF, and me ($50 each for a total of $150). And after a lot of finagling and help from DF's brother we are now in our apartment.

It's a nice place in one of the two towns where I wanted us to live. The first town was Penn Yan because it was right on a lake and D loves being near the water, on the water, and in the water. She's just a water baby. The other town was Fairport. The main reason for both is the electric costs. Both Penn Yan and Fairport have a Municipal Electric service. That means both towns buy their electrical service from the lowest priced supplier and pass that savings on to their customers. We settled for Fairport and Everyone in the household agrees that this was a good choice. Penn Yan would not have worked out because it's at least an hour into Rochester And we don't have a vehicle... Yet. Penn Yan pretty much requires one to have a vehicle: no bus service into or out of town.

With the electric, our bill for September, which included running the AC constantly, was a whopping $31.35. In Kansas for the same usage it would have been closer to $200.00. Fairport Electric has a base rate of $4.10 and costs $0.03591 a kilowatt hour. In the winter they charge a little bit more per kilowatt because almost everyone has electric heat, but I can tell you that even with electric heat on it still won't cost us more than $100 a month.

So then, besides the cheap electric, there are lots of other perks with our location in Fairport. We're on a bus route so DF can get in to work without having to find a ride, a big issue since we don't have a vehicle yet. But we are working on that one. We're also within walking distance to DF's bank, a drug store, 2 major grocery stores, 3 restaurants, at least 2 fast food restaurants, 2 pizza places, and so many other businesses that we almost don't have to go anywhere else to shop. Even M's physical therapist is practically right next door.

When realtors are helping people find their ideal house they say the most important part of the search is location, location, location! And that is so true. If you don't have the ideal location for you and your family then nothing about that home will be right for you. For us, the location is perfect. The area is quiet, no sirens constantly even though we are less than a block from 2 intersecting state highways. The neighbors are friendly, maintenance staff is very friendly especially with our dog, and the office staff is wonderful. The property manager can be a bit gruff, but otherwise he's fine. He's still young.

So this year has been most eventful and hopefully our lives will only improve. We're in a home we like a lot in an area we love. We're close to most of our good friends and we're making even more friends as we get involved in more activities. We also have several creative outlets we are exploring. Life here is good.

One new friend we met at a Labor Day cookout became fairly important in our lives within a week when he rescued DF one night. DF had injured his knee when he bashed it twice on the trailer hitch of the moving truck we rented to move into the apartment. He didn't think much of it until week later when the pain got so bad he could hardly walk. So I took him to an urgent care facility and the doctor diagnosed it as an infection in the knee joint. Not something to mess around with apparently. Somehow there was a minor break in the skin and he got an infection in the knee. She prescribed antibiotics and crutches, and if there was no improvement in 2 days we were to go to the Emergency Department at one of the many hospitals in Rochester. Now before all this we had already decided to rent a car for a week to take care of the many errands one has to do after moving into a new place, so luckily we were able to drive DF back and forth to work while the knee got better. So the Monday after we took the car back DF went back to riding the bus to work. Now, the man is a bit absent minded, especially after working all day on computer code, and coming home he missed getting off the bus at the main transfer point downtown so he could get the bus home. So now he was stranded in downtown Rochester, a city he doesn't know at all, and we couldn't think of anyone who could help except our new friend P. We were a little worried we'd be imposing, but luckily he happily agreed. When they got back to the apartment P volunteered to pick up DF every night from work provided he didn't have other commitments. And so far, so wonderful. We feed him because that's what we do, and we reimburse him for gas. He also takes us places when he's free. Though we're beginning to feel a little like we're imposing even though he says he's fine with helping. We just don't want to feel like we're abusing his generosity. We'll see how this goes.

So life is evolving. Let's see what tomorrow holds in store!

An Interesting Year!

This has been an interesting year so far. Interesting... yeah, that's a word and a half. Apparently there is an old Chinese curse that says, "May you live in interesting times!" I'm a Pagan and my strongest curse for someone is to wish them an "interesting" life.

But this year has seen my little family go through a lot of change. I started the year hopeful of starting a line of clothing and showing them next year at the annual fashion show that the Fashion Design and Merchandising department does. I was going to do a line for the Plus-Size women. But then we had a family discussion about finances and trying to find ways to get more cash flow. That's when we decided that if my DF was not able to get a new job (he got laid off from his job with the state of Kansas thanks to our Dictator... urm.. I mean Governor, Sam Brownback) by the time his unemployment ran out, then we needed to move. Where to move, you ask??? Why, Upstate New York, of course!!

Add to this D's daughter was being stupid about school. Didn't help that the school was being stupid, too. Though to be fair, it wasn't really the school's fault, nor was it her daughter's fault. I put the fault firmly on that stupid piece of legislation that G.W. Bush pushed through called "No Child Left Behind." Because of that Kansas schools can now push a student out at the end of their senior year totally unprepared to deal with college or the realities of life. D's daughter was hospitalized over a year ago which put her behind for her 10th grade year. The school told D and her daughter's father that it didn't matter what they did, when the rest of her classmates graduated, she would have to, too.  After going around and around with the school, they withdrew her from school with the stipulation that she would go to a Virtual School connected with our school district. Fine, no problem. We did that and enrolled her in the 10th grade so she could repeat it. Then early this year we get informed that the Virtual School will be following the brick-and-mortar school districts and daughter was now no longer in 10th grade but 11th grade. After that she lost whatever interest she still had in school and we let her drop out. I suggested a plan where she gets herself healthy again, then gets a job and discovers what being in the real world was all about, and then goes back to get her GED. Right now, though, I'm not holding out much hope that the plan will be followed. She turns 18 in Oct and then life is a whole new ballgame. So, we'll have to wait and see.

So then comes March. That's when we discovered that my DF had only 4 weeks of unemployment left.  Okay, that pushed up the moving plans. So D decides tells her daughter and ex. Well, you'd have thought she just killed their sacred cow (or whatever it is they hold sacred). All of a sudden he saying she's a hypochondriac, she neglecting her familial duties, you can't go back to NY because "we came here to get away from your family because you hate them", you're abandoning your daughter, you promised you'd wait until she graduated, yada, yada, yada!! Wait?? What??? WTF???? It was like it we surprised them with our decision. NEWS FLASH: We have been telling them for 3 years that we were going to move. The date was just never set. We knew we were going to move, but we weren't sure of the timing. Now that we were closing in on a date they were acting like we never told them anything about a move. What they thought was a pipe dream was now becoming reality. And as for waiting for the daughter to graduate, well, she dropped out so that ain't gonna happen!

D & M left on Apr 4th by bus. D is so happy to be back in NY. She left about 20 years ago and has been yearning to go back to live ever since. And now it's up to DF and I to clean and make decisions as to what to keep/pack, what to sell, what to give away and what to toss. We also have to get out animals back with us. There is no way I'm leaving our Gracie, Greebo, RumTum, and Ahru! Well... Ahru is a little iffy, but if we don't have him with us D will skin us alive. We just have to make sure he gets snipped. He's 4 or 5 years old and still is not neutered. Yeah, he sprays. D had wanted to breed him, but we never could get a girl for him. Probably just as well because we're starting to think the breeder we got him from was breeding Mau's with wild breed cats. Not really a good combination.

So DF & I need to get cleaning. So far we've cleaned the front living room.... well, most of it. I needed to have my sewing area decluttered so I could finish my sewing projects. I still have 4 weeks of classes and I need to finish the skirt project I'm making and start the blouse project. I also need to start my dress for the Lawrence Civic Choir's Cabaret Concert in June. On top of that have 2 alteration projects, 2 repair projects, and 3 sewing projects all for clients. Will I get them done before July?? Gods, I hope so! That's money for the move!

Oh, the up side of all this, I might be able to go to my class reunion after all! Woot!!

Things Unexpected

Every once in a while, something happens that alters one's belief patterns and restores one's faith in other human beings. Something like that happened today.

This is a reunion year for my high school class back in Upstate New York, and a pretty significant one at that. So all the plans have been made, dates have been set, reservations made for the big dinner on Saturday night, even a live band made up of fellow classmates. It looks to be a wonderful night and weekend for all attendees. All that's left to do is for my classmates to send in their checks for all the events and then let the party begin.

I would dearly love to go to the Reunion and take my DF, but I can't because we simply cannot afford to go. *le sigh* And I posted as much on the class Facebook page. Next thing I know I have several people contacting me trying to figure out a way to get DF and I to the events.

Unfortunately there are some sad truths in our lives. I am disabled and live on $710 a month and $117 in Food Stamps. (They have a different name for Food Stamps now, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or SNAP. But everyone will always call it Food Stamps.) DF is unemployed and so just get Unemployment. D and M are now married and they are both Disabled so they get SSDI. All told if the total money coming into this household is over $4000, I will be totally surprised.From that we have to pay rent, electric, water/sewer/garbage, gas, phone/internet, cell phones (our lifelines), and recycling. After that we buy groceries (thank the Gods for Food Pantries). And if there's anything left after that we get stuff we want and I make a payment on my college class. I'm sure most of you are saying that you have many of the same bills. True, but most you probably also have a decent job that pays a living wage (unless you work at Walmart or some other low paying business) that lets you pay your bills in full and gives you more disposable income at the end of the month. I'm constantly in the red with my checking account. I'm just glad the bank lets me have Overdraft Protection.

So, knowing all that, when I say I can't afford to do something I mean it! It is just out of the realm of possibility! But then to have people wanting so much to help us go to the Reunion was very overwhelming for me. As I was telling DF about the offers I started to cry so much that I was overwhelmed by emotion! I literally could not speak for several minutes!

The problem with all these offers of help, they were Just for the Reunion events. Okay... umm... we'd need a way to get to New York from Kansas (round trip), a place to stay, and a vehicle for the weekend to get from the hotel to the events. Unless they would all be included in the package, it is just not possible. So as generous as the offers were I very sadly still had to turn them down. (Though if they wanted me there bad enough I'm sure someone would start a fund for plane tickets, a hotel room, and a rental car from Enterprise (plug!) for us. While it would be nice to think they might do that, I'm not expecting it to happen.)

The thing that struck me about the offers of help is that it has always been extremely rare for people to want to help me out of the goodness of their heart. I've always been the one helping. It's very hard to accept help, even when you need it, because it strikes a blow at your pride and makes you feel emotionally vulnerable. Not a very comfortable feeling for many people.

If we had had a way to get to NY State, had a place to stay, and had access to a vehicle then I would have taken folks up on their offers because I am not so proud to insult someone's offer of help. I wouldn't want it done to me, so I won't do that to someone else. That's just rude! But with our family finances as they are, to just go off for a weekend would be wrong on so many levels. Especially since were planning to move back to NY State in the near future. We just need to save money...... somehow...... to pay for the move. Plus, if DF & I Had gone to NY for a weekend, D & M would have been POd at us for several weeks Because of the plans to move back, and because They would have wanted to come, too.

Things you see on the Ladies Room wall....

When one takes college classes one should expect to see almost anything. And sometimes One actually has a camera on One's handbag to get a picture. Cryptic enough for you?

This last Spring I took an Apparel Construction class at the college 2 days a week. Because the class was 3 hours long I usually had to stop at the Ladies Room. Normally there's nothing interesting happening in the Ladies Room, except for the occasional non-handicapped person using the handicapped stall, which really tics me off, but which is another topic for another blog post.

So one day last February I went into said handicapped stall and found this on the door of the stall.
It's kind of faint so I transcribed it below (and corrected some of the spelling).

Think

Sam Harris - Letter to a Christian Nation

"It is estimated that 50% of all pregnancies terminate themselves before the woman even realizes she's pregnant. Another 20% of known pregnancies terminate by natural  means. If God is real, surely he is the most prolific abortionist of all."

Not the usual sort of graffiti one normally find on the walls of a bathroom. But it is a truism and I presume the woman compelled to write this on the ladies room wall was trying to get some sort of dialogue going on the pro's and con's of abortion debate. I can't help but think that there was a much better forum than a bathroom wall.  Though seeing this did kind of remind me of the character Plato in the Beetle Bailey comic strip. He's the strip's resident intellectual who often writes long-winded, analytical, often philosophical graffiti on a wall somewhere, usually in a Sunday strip. I had one of those on the door of my dorm room in college for most of the semester. I wish now I could remember what it was about.

Please bear in mind that I am not an advocate for or against abortion in this blog post. It's just a short commentary on the unusual things you might find on a ladies room wall. Thanks.

As I learn about Deaf Culture I stopped....

What is a Handicap?  Is is a physical impairment?  Is it something to be pitied? Should you help? If so, when do you help?  How do you help?

My first lesson in being handicapped was back many years ago when I was in England.  I met a man from Ireland whose leg had been permanently disabled in an accident. I thoroughly enjoyed just listening to him talk because I enjoyed listening to the lilt of his Irish accent.  The only part of our conversation I did not enjoy hearing was his constantly referring to himself as a cripple.  In our Politically Correct society we have almost compleatly wiped that word from our vocabulary as if it were a curse word.  In my conversation with this Irishman I kept trying to get him to stop using crippled and start using another word like disabled or handicapped, but I couldn't.  Crippled was a word that was so ingrained into him that, even if he wanted to, he couldn't change and no amount of persuading by a 21-year-old American college student would make any difference.

My second lesson came about 10 years later when I met and became best friends with 6 women: AM who is 5 years younger than me, SEJ who is 12 years younger, LMT who is 14 years younger, CS who is 15 years younger, SL who is 16 years younger and D who is 17 years younger.  When we met AM & I were the only ones of drinking age.  The rest were still considered "girls" at the time, but they have all since matured into wonderfully beautiful and talented women. One of the women, SL, has cerebral palsy, a condition that does not allow her legs to straighten without effort or her feet to be flexible.  Both cause her to have a very distinctive gait. It was from SL that I learned that a handicap is only as disabling as the person who has the handicap: a disability may slow her down, but it will never stop her. Whenever any of us were out with SL, especially if we were walking, she could out walk all of us, which was quite a feat since AM and LMT were both 5' 11" and CS was 6'.  We would all have to run to catch up with her. Then one day, one of the other women, I think it was SEJ, or maybe it was AM, was talking about SL.  Bear in mind that both SEJ and AM are people who occasionally mix up words or come out with a spoonerism.  So we were all talking about SL and her disability, and instead of saying "Handicapped," whoever it was said she was "Handiclad."  Handiclad?? We all had a good laugh over that one. But then SL said that she liked that label because it was unusual and because it better fit who she was.

My third and most important lesson came when I decided to go to school to learn American Sign Language (ASL).  It is through my classes and the most especially through my contacts with the Deaf Community that I've learned that there are many disabilities in life. The biggest lesson I've learned is that being deaf is neither a disability nor a handicap.

In the Fall of 2010 I had to take a class about Deaf Culture. In this class I learned a lot of things about Deaf Culture, the most important being that the Deaf are not handicapped, nor are they disabled. They are simply not able to hear.  It is the hearing that have the handicap.

Back in my first semester in Spring 2009 I picked up a book at the bookstore entitled Deaf Like Me.  It was the story of a woman by the name of Lynn Spradley and is written by her father and uncle. It begins about the time Lynn was conceived when her older brother came down with Rubella. Her parents had been trying to have another child and her mother discovered she was pregnant about the same time.  Her mother agonized over whether the rubella would cause a problem but all she could do was wait to see what happened. This was in 1964 so there were no definitive tests to be done like there is today.  The book goes on to detail the family's struggle to deal with Lynn's deafness.  The prevailing thought at the time was that if you gave a Deaf child hearing aids and enough speech therapy then the child would learn to speak.  Manual communication (a.k.a. sign language) was out of the question because speech was the arbiter of intelligence.  Her parents eventually came to learn that being Deaf was not what defined Lynn, it was merely one aspect of her personality.  Over time the entire family come to understand that fact and Lynn is now a fully capable adult woman.

As I learn about Deaf Culture I stopped.... thinking of people in terms of their disability, thinking that all Deaf can lip-read (they can't and they would rather you write out what you want to say to them, or, better yet, learn ASL),  thinking the Deaf need to have their deafness fixed, and thinking that all people with conditions that different than normal should be pitied. 

People who are differently abled from the mainstream population just want what we all want: to be treated with respect and to be allowed to live their lives on their terms.